I have this significant memory of one time I gave my mum a piece of my mind.
My mum always told me I had beautiful eyes.
I was eleven-ish when I began using glasses to aid my vision, after the doctor’s myopia diagnosis.
Mum didn’t like that I had to “cover my eyes” with glasses.
Usually, my glasses were the last thing I would don before leaving the house.
Mum would lament:
“Eii, see how you’ve covered your fine eyes “
“Chai! These your eyes should be out there. Nothing should be hiding them..”
I would often give a dry chuckle and keep it moving.
Sometimes, I would give a quick retort about how it wasn’t my fault I was nearsighted.

Thing is, I had to wear my glasses to experience my environment fully. I was not about to embrace looking prettier, just to be saddled with an ineffective blurry vision.
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Every other day, I would get dressed and come down to pick my glasses from the dining table and mum would make the, “oh, these glasses again” comments. It would tick me off, but I parried it for the longest time and kept it moving.
Until that day..
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Personally, I do not see the sense in consistent complaints.
I am all for acting to bring desired change(s) if something doesn’t sit well with you.
In cases where one’s hands are tied and you can’t get the change you need, chest the situation, and make the best of it.
Consistent complaints that improve nothing has been one of my least favourite behaviours to entertain.

So on that day (I think I had just started my first job that period), mum made the “oh these glasses, hiding away your beautiful eyes” comment, and I flipped.
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I expressed my frustration about her continous comments which are not solving anything.
I will wear my glasses because a girl’s gotta see far and clear, and everyday she will complain about them glasses.
Was I to sacrifice vision for more prettiness? My eyes are quite irritable for contact lenses, laser surgery was not in the talks. So what exactly would she have me do??
I expressed how the comments were even messing with my self image. Imagine always hearing that you have one less thing to feel pretty about, everytime you are stepping out.
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Mum was taken aback that day. She had been making those statements repeatedly without actually thinking them through.
As I voiced my feelings, there was silence from her end.
I could see she was introspective and had gotten my point.
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I didn’t get any apologies o (authentic African parent, LOL), but I never heard the “glasses hiding your fine eyes” comments ever again.

She would later diversify to making comments about me getting “more exciting” frames for my lenses. LOL
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Cheers to having beautiful eyes framed and unframed.
And cheers to my Mum of life ♥️